300

Based on the graphic novel by Frank Miller, this latest comic-book venture by director Zack Snyder works best when it doesn’t deviate from the source material.

Chronicling the last weeks of King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) at the Battle Of Thermopylae in 480BC, it has hardly any basis in fact except for the names. Rather it’s a bloody procession of visually stunning skirmishes with a variety of weird and wonderful opponents.

The 300 of the title are the three hundred Spartan warriors that fought under King Leonidas against their much higher numbered opponents. They fight with spear and shield, displaying exceptional strategy. While the fight scenes should become boring and predictable, the visual beauty helps them through.

Instead, it’s the scenes with all the talking and substance that let the film down. With no basis in the book, obviously tacked-on scenes about politics and whatnot – hell, even the sex isn’t that interesting, as pretty as the queen (Lena Headey) is – drag along. Especially when compared with the cartoonishly realistic sprays of blood, the stampede of elephants and rhinos, and the roar of the Spartan guard.

Whilst the story might lag, visually it has everything to offer. It stays firmly a representation of the book (except the Spartans have a bit more clothing on). Some shots are directly taken from Miller’s inspired drawings, and even the shadow of a spear has stunning purpose. From the lowliest hunchback to the androgynous god-king, the film is a sight to behold.

If you can stay awake through all the talking, that is.

TMNT

Cowabunga, dudes!

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (or TMNT, as they’re calling themselves these days) are back on the big screen for the first time since 1993.

And they haven’t lost a bit of their spark.

Loosely following the events of the other films, but with a style all its own, the turtles – Raph, Leo, Mikey, and Don – are back to their 80s glory, this time in total CG form.

Whilst the CGI is briefly distracting at the beginning, it quickly becomes its own reality, lending the characters the heartfelt unrealism they already oozed from every reptilian pore.

The film itself can only be described as fun – it’s big, it’s dumb, it’s full of the usual one-liners, and yes, it’s funny as hell. The plot doesn’t really matter – it’s riddled with holes anyway and is more predictable than the fate of a turtle’s pizza – but suffice to say it’s populated with enough stone warriors, monsters, immortal beings, helmeted vigilantes and ninja skills to while away 2 hours in blissful nostalgic bedlam.

And then there are the heavenly mentions of a sequel…